


Wait a Minute, Mr Postman

by littlervoice



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-27
Updated: 2015-02-27
Packaged: 2018-03-15 10:16:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3443468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlervoice/pseuds/littlervoice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU in which Harry is a postman, Niall receives a lot of mail, and Louis is a mischievous little shit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wait a Minute, Mr Postman

It’s Monday and Niall is woken by a knock on the door. A quick glance at the clock on his bedside table reveals that it’s only 8:53am. _Who on earth is calling this early?_ He quickly rolls out of bed and heads downstairs to see who it is, stopping to pull on the pair of sweatpants he finds on his bedroom floor as he passes. There’s another sharp knock on the door.

“Okay I'm coming, I'm coming,” Niall says through a yawn. He swings the front door open to reveal the postman. But it’s not his usual postman. Oh no, this is a new, much younger, much more attractive postman. The first thing Niall notices is the mess of unruly brown curls on his head which are currently blowing across his cheeks in the wind. The second thing he notices is the way his shoulders fill out the red polo shirt he’s wearing ever so nicely. The postman stands holding a small cardboard box, his smile far too wide, green eyes way too bright for this time of morning.

“Hi I have a package for a Mr…” the postman looks down and checks the label on the box, “Niall Horan?”

“Yeah, that’s me,” Niall replies, his voice still thick with sleep.

“Great,” the postman smiles, “I just need you to sign for it, hang on one second.” He hands the box over to Niall who pretends to inspect the label whilst the postman busies himself the little electronic machine he produced seemingly out of nowhere.

After tapping the screen a few times he holds it out towards Niall. “Yeah, if you could just sign here please?” he asks.

Niall does as asked and scrawls his signature across the screen. Except it doesn't really end up looking like his signature – more like a child’s scribble, if he’s honest. _Why are those machines so hard to use?_

The postman clips the machine back onto his belt. “Have a great day,” he speaks slowly, words drawn out in a way which probably should annoy Niall, except it really doesn’t.

Niall closes the door on the retreating postman and takes the box he’s holding into the kitchen. He has no idea what it is, hasn’t ordered anything on the internet, so he’s rather intrigued. He tears open the box to find two small objects carefully wrapped in bubble wrap so they don’t break. Niall unwraps the items, physically restraining himself from stopping and playing with the bubble wrap, and revealed is a set of salt and pepper shakers, each in the shape of a guitar. At the bottom of the box is a note. Written in his friend Louis’ handwriting, it says:

_Nialler!_

_Saw these in Nashville and thought of you._

_Handmade! Better be using them next time I visit!_

_See you soon mate_

_Louis x_

Louis is currently on a road-trip across the USA and Niall is only the tiniest bit jealous. He’d been there 3 weeks and so far he’d only sent Niall a couple of postcards, so the gift is a pleasant surprise.

Niall decides he’d better text Louis and thank him or else he’d never hear the end of it.

**To: Louis**

_Thanks for the present mate rly appreciate it. Glad your thinking of me ;)_

_Feel free to send more parcels btw, I have a new postman he’s quite fit ahaha_

It’s almost 11:30 at night by the time Louis replies.

**From: Louis**

_No problem Nialler, no problem_

_Tell me more about this postman then._

_What’s he look like? Did u ask him out?_

_Is Niall in luurrrve???_

Niall knew he shouldn't have brought up the postman thing. Oh well.

**To: Louis**

_No its not love I don’t even kno his name!!!_

_(he has really nice curly hair and green eyes and his voice sounds like honey)_

**From: Louis**

_How does a voice sound like honey?_

**To: Louis**

_Shut up if you heard it you’d kno what I mean_

_Doesn't_ _matter anyway doubt I’ll see him again_

_Any way off to bed now mate, night_

Niall doesn't hear anything from Louis for the next few days. Nor does he see the attractive new postman again. Until Friday that is, when there’s another knock on the door, this time at 8:34. Once again Niall crawls out of bed and makes his way to the front door. He opens the door and there stands the curly-haired postman, smile on his face. Niall feels a breeze run across his body and it’s then that he becomes aware he’s wearing nothing but a pair of boxers. His cheeks flush with embarrassment.

“Oh, um, hello. I have another package for Niall Horan,” the postman says, his eyes darting all over the place as if he’s not sure where to look. He hands over another small box. “Just sign here, please.”

Niall quickly scribbles his name and flashes the postman a smile, before turning back into the house. Just as the door is almost shut he hears a voice.

“Nice boxers, by the way!”

Niall looks down at his body. The boxers he’s wearing are covered in tiny little shamrocks and written across the back, right over his butt cheeks, it says _"Kiss me I'm Irish!”._ Niall just groans in embarrassment until he realises – _was he staring at my ass?_

This time when he opens the box it contains a set of leather coasters and a note that simply says _“Enjoy – Louis x”_. It’s a bit random, but Niall just shrugs it off. Sometimes Louis gets a bit unpredictable.

\----------

Over the following week, five more parcels arrive from Louis. Every time he opens the door he’s met with the gorgeous postman’s cheery face, and every time the pair swaps the same old pleasantries before parting ways.

Each parcel contains a new piece of dinnerware including hand-painted egg cups, and salad tongs – _when does Niall ever eat salad?_ Niall can’t help but think Louis is trying to replace the entire contents of his kitchen cupboards and while he doesn’t actually mind this, he can’t help but think about how much money Louis must be splashing out on all these unnecessary gifts.

**To: Louis**

_Mate you kno I was joking about sending me loads of presents right?_

**From: Louis**

_Just giving u an excuse to talk to your new hot postman :)_

_Are you married yet?_

**To: Louis**

_No! I already said I don’t kno his name!_

_He doesn’t rly say anything to me_

_All he does is deliver my parcels and look ridiculously cute while doing so_

**From: Louis**

_U should get in there Nialler!_

_Maybe deliver him something in return ;)_

Niall doesn't dignify him with a response.

\----------

The following Monday the door knocks at 8:41. This time Niall’s half expecting it, so he’s already awake – and this time fully clothed. When Niall opens the door he’s taken by surprise when the postman strikes up a conversation.

“Feels a bit empty, this one. Is your friend sending you fresh air?” His eyes are sparkling with amusement in the bright morning sun.

Niall just laughs and says, “Probably,” because knowing Louis, he totally would.

After Niall’s signed for it, the postman hands over the box to Niall but doesn't let go.

“Tell your friend he’s a great artist. I’d pay millions to hang that on my wall.” He has a playful look in his eyes and Niall is so confused. Until he looks down at the box he’s holding.

There on the lid is an awful drawing of two stick-men. One has a scribbled mop of curls on his head and a letter in his hand, the other has hearts for eyes and is wearing a t-shirt which Niall thinks is supposed to read _“I love Ireland”_. Surrounding both the stick-men are multiple love hearts. Niall wants to _die._

Despite wishing the ground would swallow him up, Niall decides it’d probably be best to do some damage control and apologise for Louis’ behaviour – something he finds himself doing way too often.

“I am so sorry about that! It’s just my friend’s idea of a joke, he thinks he’s really funny when in actual fact he’s far from it,” Niall rushes out, “Sorry if it made you uncomfortable or anything.”

“It’s fine, Niall, don’t worry about it,” Harry soothes and Niall swears his voice has some kind of magic ability to calm people down because he instantly feels relief wash over him. “If I'm honest I quite enjoy it when people do things like that. Makes me smile.” And Harry does smile. A wide, lazy grin which makes his eyes crinkle in the corners.

Niall does his best to ignore the butterflies in his stomach.

“I am sorry though…” Niall trails off, realising he still doesn't know the postman’s name, “Sorry, what was your name?”

“Harry.”

“Right. Sorry, Harry.” Niall likes the way it sounds on his tongue.

“No worries, man, really,” Harry answers before looking at his watch and saying, “Listen I’d better be on my way. Mrs Bishop at number forty-seven will have my head if I deliver her newspaper a second after nine.”

Niall just laughs. “Have a good day, Harry,” he says and thinks that yes, he could get used to saying that name.

\---------

The two boys fall into a routine. Niall wakes up early, ready for Harry to knock on the door and deliver whatever piece of junk Louis has decided to send him that day. On the days when Louis doesn't send him anything, Niall finds himself missing Harry. He knows it’s sad, but Niall would be lying if he said that hearing that knock on the door in the morning wasn't the highlight of his day.

“You know, I feel like you should start telling me what’s in some of these packages if you’re gonna keep making me deliver so many,” Harry says one day with a wink.

And it’s almost as if Louis could hear him, because three days later another parcel arrives. This time it’s a larger box which is covered in Louis’ handwriting.

Harry just hands it over with a smirk and says, “Enjoy.”

Niall frowns. That was odd. He looks down at the box in his arms to properly read what Louis has written. On each side of the box, in big black letters it reads: _“Warning! This box contains HUGE dildos. Please handle with care!”_ as well as _“I love cock!!”_

Niall is going to kill Louis. The second he steps off that plane back from his travels, Niall’s going to murder him in the most violent way he can think of, punishment be damned.

He grabs his phone and dials Louis’ number. He doesn't care what time it is wherever Louis is. In fact he hopes it’s stupid-o’-clock in the morning and it wakes him up.

“Niall! How’s things –”

“I don’t believe you, Louis Tomlinson!” Niall cuts him off, “What did you do that for, you absolute tosser?”

“Ah, I'm guessing you received my latest gift. Did you not like it then?” Louis asks and Niall can just picture the smirk on his face wherever he’s sat right now.

“Like it?! I've never felt so embarrassed in my life!” Niall responds, absolutely infuriated.

“Aww, I'm hurt Nialler. Spent bloody hours on that box, I did. Definitely risked my own life inhaling all those toxic fumes from the permanent marker.”

“Oh shut up,” Niall grumbles, “Why did you do it? Just…why?”

“Well, it’s been ages since you told me about your postman and neither of you have made a move yet, so I thought maybe _he_ hasn't said anything because he doesn't know if you’re gay or not. Then I thought I’d be my usual helpful self and provide him with that knowledge – you’re welcome by the way,” Louis says smugly.

Niall wants nothing more than to punch him in his stupid face, but unfortunately – or fortunately for Louis – they’re currently separated by the Atlantic Ocean so Niall makes do with punching his pillow instead. It’s not nearly as satisfying as he’d hoped.

\--------

Two days later Niall hears another knock at his door. He briefly considers pretending he’s not home and collecting it from the post office in town instead, but then he remembers that Louis has probably covered it in crude drawings again and decides that the embarrassment of facing Harry is slightly more appealing than the embarrassment of having to carry the rude package through a busy town centre. _Slightly._

“Hi,” Niall says when he opens the door and he can already feel the pink tinge to his cheeks.

“Good morning, Niall,” Harry replies. He sounds extra cheery this morning. “Um, so your friend wrote me a note on this box. I already read it, I hope you don’t mind?”

Panic washes over Niall. _What has the idiot done this time? He’s making it so hard to want to be his friend right now._ He grabs the box off Harry and quickly reads Louis’ note.

_Dear Mr Postman_

_First of all, great job on delivering all my mail. Secondly I have it on good authority that a certain Niall Horan fancies the pants off you so you should definitely ask him on a date. Or at least give him a good shag because it’s been way too long if you ask me. Anyway no pressure or anything but if I find out I've been wasting all my money sending all these packages for absolutely no reason then I will be expecting a full refund (payment accepted in cash and/or alcohol)_

_Louis (Niall’s absolute favourite friend)_

Niall opens his mouth ready to apologise once more, but he’s cut off by Harry.

“So what do you say – to the date I mean?”

“Oh. Right, sure. Ok,” Niall just about manages to stammer. He wasn't expecting that.

“You sure? You don’t sound very sure,” Harry teases, affection clear in his eyes.

“I’m sure. Very sure. One-hundred percent sure, in fact,” Niall babbles.

“Great,” Harry beams, “How about I pick you up tonight at seven?”  

\----------

At 7pm on the dot Harry arrives at Niall’s house with a plastic carrier bag in his hand.

“Well, I thought we could go for a picnic together but then I checked the weather forecast and it’s supposed to rain, and no one like soggy picnics.” Harry’s eyebrows knit together adorably. “So then I thought maybe I could just cook for us instead? I called off at the supermarket and got all the ingredients on the way here,” he explains, gesturing to the bag in his hand.

Niall rubs his hands together eagerly and leads Harry to the kitchen. “So what are we making?”

“ _I'm_  making lasagne. You’re just going to sit there and look cute because this was _my_ idea.”

Niall blushes but does as he’s told, moving to sit on one of the barstools and watch as Harry deftly starts chopping an onion. Harry moves around the kitchen with such grace as he tells Niall all about his family and how his mum taught him to cook from a young age. Niall smiles fondly at that; imagining a young Harry standing his on tiptoes to reach whatever he was supposed to be stirring on the stove.

Half an hour later the oven timer beeps and Harry pulls the lasagne out of the oven, ready to start serving it up. It fills the kitchen with a strong aroma of tomato and herbs which makes Niall’s stomach grumble. He searches through his cupboards to find a bottle of wine and pours them both a glass of red. _That’s what people are supposed to drink on dates, right?_

Conversation flows easily throughout the meal. There’s just something about Harry that makes it so easy for Niall to talk to him. His warm eyes so inviting, so earnest, that Niall finds himself already telling Harry things he’s never told anyone else – not even his closest friends.

After they’re finished with their food Harry insists on cleaning up and Niall wonders how one person can be so perfect. Niall waits until Harry’s finished drying his hands on the tea-towel he’d been using, and then gently presses a kiss to his lips.

Harry drops the tea-towel to the floor and reaches up to place a hand on either side of Niall’s face, reattaching their lips as he pushes Niall backwards until his back hits the edge of the counter-top. They stay in this position for a while, mouths moving together until eventually they break apart with matching smiles, lips shiny and swollen.

“S’pose I should thank Louis for sending my all them packages, never would have gotten to know you otherwise,” Niall says, although he’s not quite sure why his brain has decided to think of Louis at this moment in time.

“Yeah, ok, but first I have one more package to deliver to you,” Harry smirks and presses his crotch forward into Niall’s, dick already half-hard.

Niall just groans and shoves Harry to one side. “Absolute idiot, I swear.” He pushes himself away from the counter and heads towards the stairs. “Well come on then, before I change my mind.”

Harry doesn't need to be told twice.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the song "Please Mr Postman" by the Marvelettes
> 
> littlervoice.tumblr.com


End file.
